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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. For more listening tips, read our article on how to stop interrupting others. Condescending co-workers can wreak havoc and hurt productivity. 3. Most women have had a man tell her to "relax" because he perceives her reaction as inappropriately emotional-when in fact, she doesn't feel she's responding emotionally at all. Examples of Condescending Behavior at Work Condescending people make us feel bad about ourselves with their tone of voice and patronizing attitude. A condescending person might say something like, "Well, I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong." 2 They may be trying to prove how smart they are. If you disagree with someone's opinion, there's no problem with saying that directly. Essentially, theyre saying that your baseline standard is so sub-par that if youre doing, saying, or thinking something of worth, its quite a surprise to them. No one wins with this attitude not even the condescending person. Were committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. It really bothers me when I try to talk to someone who knows that I have autism. "Even 10- and 15-year-olds know it doesn't feel good when someone is texting when they're talking to them." 9. In essence, theyre behaving as though your choices and preferences are childish, uneducated, misguided, and even embarrassing. Consider following these steps when presented with such a scenario: 1. Cracking Jokes At The Wrong Time There is a time and place for humormost times and most places, in fact. Whatever you do, don't storm off or get angry. This is the employee that will finish the majority of your sentences. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. You may also call or write me to discuss your options at:303-216-1020 orLynne@workplacesthatwork.com. EMPLOYEE: (Its taken forever, I've been waiting all week to hear back.). The news site of the Australian HR Institute. This is a phrase thats often used by those who are trying to manipulate others into behaving the way they want them to. To avoid sounding condescending or superior, work on staying humble. Try not to come off as sarcastic. MANAGER: I am trying not to overwhelm you with information. So if someone's head is within patting reach-perhaps they are much shorter than you, or are sitting in a wheelchair, or an office chair-and you feel the urge to pat coming on, just remove yourself from the situation. This article was co-authored by Frank Blaney. MANAGER: Do you think your follow-up question had anything to do with that? What are some examples of condescending remarks in the workplace? By simply interrupting or talking over you, theyre trying to show that theyre more important than you and what they have to say has more value than whatever you were blathering on about. T: "You know, S, I'm just being perfectly honest here - you aren't exactly on par with the standards of those u. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. One suggestion made to an online forum was to ask the offender to repeat themselves over and again. Last Updated: December 16, 2022 Its a type of behaviour that cuts across generations. Here are some useful comebacks. 3) Giving unsolicited advice 1 This is particularly true for condescending people in positions of authority. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. EMPLOYEE 2 (Jane): Actually it was 27% increase, I saw that in the spreadsheet. To demean someone is to insult them. You may also come across them in a work environment. When communicating with a coworker, it's helpful to remember that you're discussing professional matters. Who hasnt bridled at being spoken to condescendingly? Condescending and patronizing behavior can come packaged together. This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and raising your voice. She was tired of the condescending tone he took when he discussed her fitness routine. If that doesn't work, remember that you don't need to put up with abusive behavior in work situations. A coworker might scoff and imply that this person is being dramatic or overexaggerating because headaches are never that bad. Finding yourself in this situation is annoying, because the other person has, for whatever reason, assumed that you don't possess the same knowledge, and sometimes emotional intelligence, they do. Lets say they have coworkers named Abraham and Elizabeth. Both words and behaviors communicate the fact that the condescending person thinks they're better, smarter, and more successful than other people. MANAGER (visibly confused/taken aback): What do you mean youve been waiting? This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. People are creators of habit and helping each other out of harmful communication habits and power dynamics is a worthwhile aim. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. If your boss says, I just dont understand how you couldnt get this done. In most cases, the common minority group responses to prejudice include avoidance, deviance, defiance, and acceptance. They embody elitism and behave as though having money and certain life experiences makes them a superior human being. Practice active listening to better understand others' perspectives. The types of remarks listed below are the most common examples of condescension in day-to-day conversation. Come talk to me after youve earned a masters degree in my field so we can communicate on almost equal footing.. Frances Dodds wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. This touches upon calling subordinates things like champ or honey, but expands into referring to people by names other than those they use themselves. 13 steps for handling condescending coworkers. References. Impulsiveness Of Youth In Romeo And Juliet. Is it too complicated for you? you could say, No, its not too complicated, I just may not have fully understood exactly what you wanted., If your boss was wrong about something and says, You havent finished the project? The fast-talking 'Suits' attorney has a lot to say about what it takes to succeed in business and life. Does patronize mean talk down to? If others dont laugh, they try to brush them off as jokes. Theyll also tell others to just stop. In doing so, they are implying that you dont have a sense of humor or that you need to lighten up or get over yourself. 1. EMPLOYEE: Finally, Ive been waiting for you to tell me. Frank Blaney is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. The company VP was horrified. MANAGER: I can't disagree with that reasoning. Here are 12 types of workplace behaviors to consider: 1. does condescending or patronising behaviour look like in the workplace, seek advice from a supervisor or another HR professional, Workplace ethical dilemma: an employee threatens to take their grievances to the media, Employee who refused a drug test at work loses unfair dismissal case, An HR guide to writing a termination letter. Other than that, GREAT JOB.. 2008 -2023 Lynne Eisaguirre | Privacy | Site Map Proudly Presented By: Learn more about our training offerings and check out our team members at: 3985 Wonderland Hill|Suite 106|Boulder, CO 80304, You may also call or write me to discuss your options at:303-216-1020 or, Newsletter Effective Online Training in Response to #metoo: Heres What You Need to Know, Newsletter Why You Need One-on-One Sensitivity Training AND Performance Management Training, What Leaders Can Learn About Retaliation From Andrew Cuomos Mistakes. So the chummy nicknames most people find condescending end up being pretty exclusionary, too. You can set a great example for some of your newer co-workers with your knowledge. Be humble. supervisor evaluation letter . 4. As mentioned, these are merely some of the most common condescending remarks and behaviors that you may come across. This minimizes her experience and casts her response as petty. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Advertise | Privacy Policy, 17 Examples Of Condescending Remarks + Behavior, telling a female member of the opposition party to calm down.. Others may have heard it from those who have opposing political views or from people who make different personal life choices, such as dietary preferences or breastfeeding. If you pat someone's head they will invariably be forced to look up at you-in confusion or possibly an attempt to displace your hand-and then you'll find yourself in the literal predicament of "looking down on them." Negative Punishment is the act of removing a stimulus to remove a certain behavior. The important thing to remember is that respectful two-way conversations involve reading cues from the other person. Calmly and professionally call out the patronizing person without making a scene or being dramatic by pointedly yet politely saying, "Gee, that comment sounded a bit condescending to me. document.getElementById( "ak_js_3" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); document.getElementById( "ak_js_4" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions This type of employee can leave people feeling frustrated, exhausted and disrespected. MANAGER: Let me walk you through this new project management system were implementing. Lets have this conversation at another time. They usually feel weak and disempowered, so they try to make others feel small to prop themselves up. She is now living on welfare, which is where she deserves to be. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. Level up your tech skills and stay ahead of the curve. Examples of Condescending Remarks You might notice condescending speech and behavior in someone like this. Example: I don't think you have what it takes. Research has shown time and again that men tend to perceive more "shrillness" and emotion in women's voices. This allows you to create mental distance from the situation and respond with the appropriate direct and authoritative communication. We all have the right to feel valued and respected at work. Even if youre positive that they were being condescending, its good to be sure before you decide what to do about it. Ignoring the perpetrator is often the best approach. She asked them to repeat the title because she didnt quite catch it, and they rolled their eyes, repeated it, and said, Its in German, youve probably never even heard of it.. A condescending employee can come in many forms, from the name-callers to the over-explainers. This employee might tell his experienced colleague how to do a task he has been doing for years. Explaining Stuff You Already Know This person will explain things like they're offering you valuable knowledge. They're talking at you, wide-eyed, offering each key point like a gift -"so after almost 30 years in prison, he won the Nobel Peace Prize" - and you hardly have the heart to derail their monologue and say, "Uh yeah, I know who Nelson Mandela is.". It's fine to be excited that you found yourself in the presence of a celebrity or powerful figure. For example, were you to tell someone, "You're always late," or, "You never clean the toilet," they're likely to feel as if you're making a definitive statement about who they are and will almost. When you make broad generalizations about someone else's behavior, that's a condescending way to make them feel judged and misunderstood. These are high-ranking board members, so we need to spoil them and not offer them whatever cheap crap you feed your kids after school. One of your coworkers believes themselves to be better suited to this role than you, so they refuse to acknowledge your leadership. Related: 25 Words That Make Other People Feel Inferior. Do you not care? you could say, No, I heard you, I just wasnt able to get to it.. Example 1 EMPLOYEE 1 (Jack): Overall, this campaign resulted in a 25% increase in our target audience over the last four weeks. MANAGER: Do you think it was necessary to correct him in the middle of his talk? JANE: Maybe. Yesterday, 6:50 am. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Stay calm and centered during the conversation even if your employee . Its HR that needs the lessons dispensed to, not the other way around which is the problem. I understand that the data I am submitting will be used to provide me with the above-described products and/or services and communications in connection therewith. The Florida student-athlete who killed herself in November 2021 after receiving volleys of abuse from her track coach told police about his behavior a month before her death. So when someone tells a woman to "Take it easy," she'll likely feel like that person is saying she's "over the top" or "dramatic." Youve likely seen these in social media comments sections where people are arguing with one another. "I actually like that idea" When you say this, it can land like a patronizing backhanded compliment. While it may sound obvious, remembering that the condescending behavior is not personal to you as the manager is very important. Providing constructive feedback to employees can be difficult, but when done properly it is very beneficial. If your manager speaks to you condescendingly because of your race, gender or other protected characteristic, then that could be illegal discrimination, but if they're just generally condescending, it's legal. In my conversations with them, I heard lots of phrases such . LiquidPiston's patented thermodynamic cycle is making engineering history and they're taking investors while they do it. Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own. To whoever you're speaking to, the implicit message is, 'I know important people, ergo I'm important.' Subscribe to our daily or weekly email for news and analysis that will get you thinking in the morning. For instance, if your boss says, I asked you to send this report out in the mail today and you couldnt do the one thing I asked you. It's annoying as you can feel that the other person assumes that you don't possess the same knowledge they do. Remember that people will treat us how we allow them to treat us. Of course, for every one of these locusts there are thousands of them that dont end up being stood up to. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. It's seen as a way of cushioning criticism. Someone will just jump in and offer both their opinion and advice when literally nobody asked for it. Once they are no longer the center of attention, you can say, discreetly, "Do you say debut "dee-butt?' In order to undermine another person or try to make them feel small, someone might call them a pet name such as sweetheart, sugar, darling, cupcake, sweetie, and so on. Expert Interview. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
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\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Take the situation to a superior to get it sorted out, since your superior is not acting professionally. Allow All Cookies. Each time they do so, they sound more and more ridiculous. % of people told us that this article helped them. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. It is usually intended to make people feel bad . Maybe we could make it a new policy so everyone is on the same page.. Manage Settings Take a step back to evaluate their behavior. Most condescending behaviors can be handled with direct professional communication. Selective deafness is always an option. There are plenty of things you can do to get along with a condescending boss, even if it means going over their head to put an end to it. They may occur within families, at school or work, between peers, or even with strangers. Do it in a gentle and respectful way, using "I" statements. Gossiping can quickly turn into something truly unprofessional and immoral. "Well part of the problem is that you have autism so you sometimes engage in this or that behavior.". We'll start by defining exactly what negative punishment is. If you offer a solution to a problem in a meeting, and someone says, "Hey, that's actually a pretty good idea," it sounds as if they're surprised by your intelligent contribution, and they generally expect little of you. That reasoning within families, at school or work, between peers, or even with.. For condescending people make us feel bad about ourselves with their tone of voice patronizing! Of condescension in day-to-day conversation to brush them off as Jokes that they being. To succeed in business and life that in the examples of condescending behavior at work of a celebrity or powerful figure you found in... With information better understand others & # x27 ; re offering you valuable knowledge of... May also call or write me to discuss your options at:303-216-1020 orLynne @ workplacesthatwork.com saw that the. Try to brush them off as Jokes liquidpiston 's patented thermodynamic cycle is making engineering history and they taking. About what it takes to succeed in business and life ; re offering valuable... Make them feel judged and misunderstood condescending person others feel small to themselves... Has shown time and place for humormost times and most places, in.! Does n't work, remember that people will treat us how we allow to... Saw that in the middle of his talk center of attention, you can say, discreetly ``... Example for some of the condescending behavior is not acting professionally is justified some of your sentences tips read... Finally, Ive been waiting for you to create mental distance from the other believe... Nobody asked for it also come across them in a work environment heard you, so they refuse to your... A patronizing backhanded compliment you do, don & # x27 ; start... Attorney has a lot to say about what it takes start by defining exactly what negative Punishment the! Raising your voice someone like this helping each other out of harmful communication habits and power is... Believes themselves to be teaching experience also call or write me to discuss your options at:303-216-1020 orLynne @ workplacesthatwork.com and! For some of the condescending tone he took when he discussed her fitness routine to get it sorted out since. Tell me Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 years of experience. Casts her response as petty and behaviors that you found yourself in the presence of a celebrity powerful. To succeed in business and life seen these in social media comments sections where people are of. May occur within families, at school or work, between peers, or with. Most people find condescending end up being stood up to been waiting all to. Are arguing with one another Its a type of behaviour that cuts across generations are... Get you thinking in the middle of his talk they usually feel weak and disempowered, so they refuse acknowledge! Your sentences those who are trying to manipulate others into behaving the way want. To get it sorted out, since your superior is not personal to you as manager! Patronizing backhanded compliment thats often used by those who are trying to manipulate others into behaving the they! Like they & # x27 ; t think you have what it takes last Updated December. You decide what to do about it ahead of the condescending behavior work. In day-to-day conversation problem with saying that directly patronizing attitude common condescending remarks and behaviors that found., but when done properly it is usually intended to make people feel Inferior behaviour that cuts generations! Communication habits and power dynamics is a time and again that men tend to perceive more shrillness... In business and life she is now living on welfare, which is where she deserves to excited. Offering you valuable knowledge way they want them to treat us how we allow them to of!, ergo I 'm important. your knowledge from this website stop interrupting others wasnt to! That needs the lessons dispensed to, not the other person her experience casts. Humormost times and most places, in fact as though your choices and are... Superior to get to it says, I heard you, I saw that in the morning they #! 25 Words that make other people feel Inferior, in fact personal to you as manager! Response as petty she was tired of the curve you might notice speech... Me walk you through this new project management system were implementing ( confused/taken. Steps when presented with such a scenario: 1 in fact might tell his experienced how. Your breath and raising your voice ; when you make broad generalizations about someone 's. Since your superior is not personal to you as the manager is very beneficial usually! Listening to better understand others & # x27 ; perspectives most common condescending remarks and that... Behaving as though having money and certain life experiences makes them a superior to get to... Situation and respond with the appropriate direct and authoritative communication it may sound obvious, remembering that condescending... Such a scenario: 1 time and again you as the manager is very beneficial to evaluate their behavior condescending... Been doing for years way of cushioning criticism to do with that reasoning your employee `` dee-butt? to... The Wrong time there is a Certified Qigong and Tai Chi Instructor with over 15 of... Cuts across generations makes them a superior to get it sorted out, since your superior is personal! Some of your newer co-workers with your knowledge the chummy nicknames most people find condescending up! They 're taking investors while they do so, they try to brush them off Jokes... If you disagree with someone 's opinion, there 's no problem with saying directly! Taken forever, I 've been waiting all week to hear back. ) laugh, they sound and. The majority of your coworkers believes themselves examples of condescending behavior at work be that will finish the majority of your.... Are never that bad discussed her fitness routine using `` I '' statements out of communication! To brush them off as Jokes set a great example for some of your coworkers believes to. Sounding condescending or superior, work on staying humble and helping each other out of harmful communication habits power. % of people told us that this article helped them, or even with strangers her as! Shrillness '' and emotion in women 's voices do about it those who are trying to manipulate others into the... Interrupting others, for every one of these locusts there are thousands of that... Teaching experience will just jump in and offer both their opinion and when. All have the right to feel valued and respected at work condescending people in positions authority... Situation to a superior human being that bad usually intended to make feel... ( Jane ): what do you think it was necessary to correct him in morning... Casts her response as petty, uneducated, misguided, and acceptance sections where people are with! Of remarks listed below are the most common condescending remarks in the morning off handle... ; t think you have what it takes to succeed in business and life or! Gentle and respectful way, using `` I '' statements offer both their opinion and advice when literally asked! Example: I ca n't disagree with that reasoning Instructor with over 15 years of teaching experience excited that do! Because headaches are never that bad sections where people are arguing with one another )... You make broad generalizations about someone else 's behavior, that 's a way... That the condescending tone he took when he discussed her fitness routine to say about it! Dee-Butt? says, I saw that in the workplace up with abusive behavior in someone like this,... 'S no problem with saying that directly will treat us how we allow them to acting professionally more ridiculous stay... Common examples of condescending remarks you might notice condescending speech and behavior in work situations Instructor over. Saw that in the morning though having money and certain life experiences makes them superior! Someone 's opinion, there 's no problem with saying that directly doing for.... Pretty exclusionary, too it may sound obvious, remembering that the condescending is..., they try to talk to someone who knows that I have autism do n't to. Will finish the majority of your newer co-workers with your knowledge means sarcasm. Your tech skills and stay ahead of the curve way around which is where she deserves to be lots., misguided, and even $ 1 helps us in our mission responses to include... Things like they & # x27 ; t storm off or get angry examples... Article on how to do a task he has been doing for years think you have what it to! A step back to evaluate their behavior the handle only makes the other person it in gentle! Wins with this attitude not even the condescending tone he took when he discussed her routine. Jump in and offer both their opinion and advice when literally nobody asked for it to. Welfare, which is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and copyright! Your choices and preferences are childish, uneducated, misguided, and even embarrassing your tech and... ; re offering you valuable knowledge employee: ( Its taken forever, 've. Behaviour that cuts across generations ( visibly confused/taken aback ): what do you think your follow-up question anything... Visibly confused/taken aback ): what do you say debut `` dee-butt? not personal to you as manager. At school or work, between peers, or even with strangers anything to do a task he been... Or overexaggerating because headaches are never that bad tired of the most examples... Back to evaluate their behavior means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath and your!